15 Give and Take: The Revolutionary Path to Success with Adam Grant

Episode Summary

Executive Summary: Lewis Howes interviews Adam Grant about his book Give and Take, exploring how generosity, reciprocity, and network strategy shape success. They distinguish takers, matchers, and two kinds of givers, and dig into strong, weak, and dormant ties. The episode argues that “otherish” giving, humility, and maintaining broad relationships can create more opportunity than transactional networking.

Main Topics: Takers, matchers, and givers: Grant explains three behavioral styles: takers seek as much as possible, matchers trade favors evenly, and givers help others with varying degrees of self-interest awareness. The conversation centers on why takers damage trust and why matchers, while safe, can miss broader relational benefits. Otherish giving as the healthiest strategy: Grant contrasts self-sacrificing givers with 'otherish' givers who help others while protecting their own goals. Lewis shares his early career approach of giving first through LinkedIn introductions and notes how that created long-term opportunity and trust. Generalized reciprocity and pay-it-forward networks: The episode emphasizes that helping others without immediate expectation can create a community norm where goodwill circulates. Grant describes how matchers often reward givers indirectly through reputation and positive gossip, creating broader reciprocity over time. Strong, weak, and dormant ties: Grant outlines the value of strong ties for trust, weak ties for novel information, and dormant ties—old contacts reactivated after years apart—as a powerful blend of both. He cites research suggesting dormant ties can provide especially valuable advice. LinkedIn, networking, and connection management: Lewis and Adam debate whether to accept every LinkedIn request. Lewis argues for connecting broadly to expand second- and third-degree reach and discover opportunities; Grant is more cautious, wanting better ways to manage unknown contacts and protect his network. Self-promotion with humility: Grant warns that branding becomes off-putting when it feels like taker behavior. He recommends coupling objective achievements with vulnerability or self-deprecating humor to build trust without sounding arrogant. Examples of givers and takers in public life: They discuss famous takers like Bernie Madoff and corporate scandal figures, and givers such as John Huntsman Sr. Grant also frames some leaders, like Steve Jobs, as complex mixtures of giving and taking rather than purely one or the other.

Key Arguments: Most people are not takers; they are matchers who seek fairness, but this can become transactional and limit relationship depth. Purely selfless giving can backfire, so the best strategy is 'otherish' giving: helping others in ways that are high-value to them and low-cost to you. Giving without expecting immediate return can create generalized reciprocity, where communities reward generosity indirectly through reputation and future help. Dormant ties can be more useful than both strong and weak ties because they combine trust with fresh perspective and new information. Self-promotion is more effective when grounded in verifiable facts and paired with humility or vulnerability. Lewis argues that broad LinkedIn connectivity expands discoverability and opportunity, especially for business development and search visibility. Grant’s concern with open networking is not that strangers are inherently bad, but that he wants clearer systems to distinguish known students and trusted contacts from unknown requests.

Data Points: Podcast reach: 160+ countries - Lewis says listeners tune in from over 160 countries each week. U.S. audience concentration: Texas and California lead downloads - Lewis mentions these as the biggest U.S. regions for listening. Book ranking: #2 on the New York Times bestseller list - Adam Grant’s Give and Take debuted strongly in its first week. Wharton recognition: youngest tenured professor - Grant is introduced as the youngest tenured professor at the Wharton School. LinkedIn usage: about 6 hours a day - Lewis describes spending roughly six hours daily on LinkedIn early in his career. Dormant-tie reconnection cadence: once a month - Grant says he uses a recurring calendar reminder to reconnect with one dormant tie monthly. Executive course audience size: a couple hundred people a month - Grant describes teaching day-long executive courses to large cohorts. Direct quote from self-promotion example: 25 - Grant references teaching Air Force colonels when he was 25.

Pivotal Quotes: "There are two types of givers. One type is the purely selfless giver who puts other people first all the time... And then you have this other group of givers that's not selfish like the takers and not purely selfless. I call them otherish." — Adam Grant: Grant explains the difference between self-sacrificing givers and sustainable, strategic givers. "The real value of strong ties is they give you a lot of trust and shared perspective." — Adam Grant: He describes why close relationships matter in a network. "I have a repeating reminder in my calendar that once a month reconnect with one dormant tie." — Adam Grant: Grant shares a practical habit for reactivating old relationships.

Implications: For listeners, the episode reframes success as relational, not purely individual. Building broad, authentic networks, staying humble, and helping strategically can create more durable career and business opportunities than transactional networking.