Episode Summary
Executive Summary: The episode examines why humans cry, distinguishing basal, reflexive, and emotional tears, and explores crying’s developmental, social, and therapeutic roles. Dr. Lauren Bielsma explains that crying is linked to intense emotion—negative or positive—varies by person and context, may help regulate feelings, and is often more beneficial in supportive settings than in lab simulations. The discussion also covers sex and cultural differences, animal comparisons, pathology, and current research gaps.
Main Topics: Types and purposes of tears: The conversation distinguishes basal tears that lubricate the eye, reflexive tears from irritation, and emotional tears tied to intense feelings such as sadness, joy, or awe. Individual and sex differences in crying: Crying frequency varies widely, with women generally crying more than men; differences likely reflect a mix of biology, hormones, and socialization. Crying in real life vs. the lab: Researchers can elicit tears with emotional film clips, but lab crying often feels artificial and distressing, so ambulatory daily-life methods are becoming more useful. Does crying make you feel better?: Crying can improve mood for many people, especially in supportive social contexts, though effects vary by timing, setting, and the specific episode. Brain, animal, and evolutionary questions: There are no neuroimaging studies of human emotional crying yet; crying may have evolved from infant distress calls and animal alarm vocalizations, but emotional crying seems uniquely human. Therapy, suppression, and mental health: Crying in therapy can support emotional processing and rapport; chronic suppression of tears and emotions may be harmful, while some disorders and medications change crying patterns. Pathological and atypical crying: Severe depression, trauma, SSRIs, and rare neurological conditions can alter crying, including emotional numbing or pseudobulbar affect.
Key Arguments: Emotional crying is not just sadness; it is linked to very intense emotional arousal, whether negative or positive. There is no universal or pathological number of times a person should cry; variation is normal unless crying disrupts functioning or relationships. Women cry more often than men on average, but the reasons likely combine biology and social expectations, not biology alone. Crying may feel better partly because it occurs in supportive social contexts and forces people to confront and process distressing emotions. Laboratory methods capture only a limited version of crying; real-world, everyday measurements are needed to understand it accurately. There is currently no human neuroimaging literature on emotional crying, leaving major gaps in understanding its neural basis. Crying in therapy can be valuable for processing emotions safely, and therapists’ own tears can sometimes strengthen therapeutic connection when used appropriately. Suppressing emotions and tears chronically may be unhelpful and warrants healthier emotional outlets rather than simple avoidance.
Data Points: Women vs. men crying frequency: Women cry 3 to 5 times more than men - Described as a consistent cross-cultural finding in adults Average crying frequency for women: About 2 to 3 times per month - Approximate self-reported average mentioned by Dr. Bielsma Average crying frequency for men: About 0 to 1 times per month - Approximate self-reported average mentioned by Dr. Bielsma Duration of research interest: Nearly two decades - Dr. Bielsma has been studying crying for about 20 years Historical survey: 2008 - Large worldwide survey of crying referenced in the interview Age/developmental note: First few weeks of life - Infants do not produce physical tears immediately before lacrimal ducts fully form Funding context: NIMH - She notes her broader mental health work is easier to fund through the National Institute of Mental Health Condition mentioned: SSRIs can increase the threshold to cry - Medication-related change in crying frequency or ease Rare neurological condition: Pseudobulbar affect - Described as pathological crying/laughter with different mechanisms from emotional crying
Pivotal Quotes: "there's no like a pathological number. Like, if you cry this much, it's bad, or if you don't cry at all, it's bad." — Dr. Lauren Bielsma: Explaining that crying frequency varies normally and is only concerning when it impairs functioning "it might be that it's really the social piece that's making them feel better, not necessarily the crying itself." — Dr. Lauren Bielsma: Discussing why crying can improve mood, especially in supportive settings "There's remarkably been no neuroimaging studies of crying, emotional crying in humans." — Dr. Lauren Bielsma: Highlighting a major research gap in the neuroscience of crying
Implications: For listeners, crying is normal, context-dependent, and not inherently weak or unhealthy. For researchers and clinicians, the biggest gaps are real-world measurement and brain studies; in practice, supportive environments and emotional processing matter more than suppressing tears.