Episode Summary
Executive Summary: Trudy Goodman argues that trust in oneself is a trainable practice rooted in present-moment awareness, tenderness, and community. Through Buddhist teaching, personal stories, and guided meditation, she shows how self-trust helps people discern intuition from fear or bias, stay steady in uncertainty, and relate to others without self-erasure or narcissism.
Main Topics: Trusting yourself as a spiritual and practical skill: Goodman frames self-trust as essential for both ordinary life and Buddhist practice, especially for those socialized to doubt their perceptions. She ties it to intuition, self-respect, and the ability to live with greater calm and effectiveness. Mindfulness, awakening, and the present moment: She argues that self-trust begins with basic awareness of what is happening now—body sensations, thoughts, and feelings—because awakening is not a distant future achievement but something available in present experience. Self-love, tenderness, and healthy boundaries: Goodman distinguishes self-love from selfishness or self-annihilation. She emphasizes self-respect, compassion, and the need for boundaries so caring for others does not become toxic overgiving or people-pleasing. Intuition, fear, and the role of lived experience: Using stories of injury and a near-fatal car accident, Goodman explains how listening to inner signals can be lifesaving, while also noting that fear can be protective and must be distinguished from intuition. Community, feedback, and bias correction: She stresses that community helps people see their blind spots, challenge prejudice, and stay open to honest dialogue. Trusting oneself is strengthened, not weakened, by wise others calling out nonsense. Curiosity across disagreement and separating opinions from values: Harris and Goodman discuss listening to opposing views without abandoning moral clarity. Goodman encourages curiosity about others’ beliefs while retaining firm values such as opposing cruelty. Forgiveness and emotional honesty: Goodman says forgiveness cannot be rushed; people need to fully feel anger, grief, and betrayal before moving toward forgiveness. Trusting oneself means trusting emotions to arise for a reason and change over time.
Key Arguments: Self-trust is foundational because many people, especially women, are conditioned to discount their perceptions and instincts. Mindful awareness is the first step: you must notice what is happening in your body and mind before you can trust yourself. Awakening is not a future prize for special people; it is the ongoing practice of staying awake to present experience. Self-love in Buddhism is better understood as self-respect and relational care, not narcissism or self-cherishing. Healthy community strengthens self-trust by providing feedback, revealing bias, and preventing self-deception. Intuition can be trustworthy, but it must be distinguished from fear, conditioning, and prejudice. Forgiveness should not be used to bypass pain; feeling the full emotion is part of honest self-trust. Curiosity about opposing views helps people escape ideological silos without abandoning core values. Joy and tenderness are stabilizing practices that help people remain calm in uncertain times. The breath, body, and ordinary moments of pleasure can serve as accessible anchors for compassion and connection.
Data Points: Years of practice: 50 years - Goodman says she has been practicing and studying mindfulness/Zen for about five decades. Age referenced in story: 75 - She recounts a gym incident that happened when she was 75 years old. Current age referenced: 79 and three quarters - She jokes about her age during the interview. Age mentioned as possible future age: 80 - She says she might be 80 by the time listeners hear the episode. Weekly live sessions for subscribers: Every Tuesday at 4 Eastern - Dan Harris promotes live guided meditation and Q&A sessions for paid subscribers. Event timing: Weekend of October 24th - Promotion for Meditation Party at the Omega Institute. Podcast format note: One bespoke guided meditation per episode for subscribers - A custom meditation accompanies the episode for paid subscribers. Community scale: Thousands of people - Goodman says she has worked with thousands of people as a psychotherapist and meditation teacher.
Pivotal Quotes: "There is no one on this earth more worthy of your love than you yourself." — Buddha (as recounted by Trudy Goodman): Used to explain that self-care and self-regard are foundational, not selfish. "What we really need is a revolution of tenderness in the world." — Pope Francis (quoted by Trudy Goodman): Invoked to argue that awareness should be infused with kindness and compassion. "If one person in that boat could stay calm, everybody in that boat had a better chance of survival." — Thich Nhat Hanh (as recounted by Trudy Goodman): Illustrates how individual calm supports collective well-being under pressure.
Implications: Listeners are encouraged to treat self-trust as a practice: notice the present, respect intuition, welcome feedback, and pair awareness with compassion. The episode argues that stronger inner steadiness improves relationships, civic life, and resilience in polarized times.