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The Knowledge Project

Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership

My guest today is Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s leading executive coaches. We discuss the surprising lessons he’s learned coaching some of the best CEOs in the world, where confidence comes from, common mistakes leaders make, why changing behavior is easier than changing perception, how to

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Shane Parrish HostMarshall Goldsmith Guest

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Episode Summary

Executive Summary: Marshall Goldsmith argues that effective leadership is less about proving you’re smart and more about making a positive difference through others. He emphasizes feedback, follow-up, humility, process over outcomes, and managing ego—both at work and in life—so behavior changes become visible, sustainable, and meaningful.

Main Topics: Leadership as service through others: Goldsmith defines leadership as working with and through others to achieve objectives, stressing that leadership is not a title but a set of actions focused on impact rather than self-display. Changing behavior, identity, and follow-up: He explains that self-limiting beliefs like 'this is just the way I am' block growth, and that lasting change requires feedback, action, and repeated follow-up with the people affected. Winning too much and ego control: He warns that successful people often overvalue being right, adding value, or winning trivial arguments, which can damage relationships and reduce influence. Process over outcomes and detaching self-worth from results: Goldsmith argues that happiness and worth should not depend on achievement, because outcomes are partly uncontrollable and never fully satisfying; instead, people should love the process and focus on the next action. Decision-making, authority, and influence: He says the person with power makes the decision, so leaders should stop trying to prove they are right and instead act as salespeople who influence customers respectfully and efficiently. Environment, triggers, and disciplined self-monitoring: He discusses how habits and surroundings shape behavior, and presents practical tools like daily tracking and the 'every breath' reset to help people notice triggers and regain control. Empathy, inclusion, and presence: Goldsmith distinguishes between useful and harmful forms of empathy, advises leaders to ask rather than tell, and stresses being fully present and appropriately responsive in each role or context.

Key Arguments: Leadership is defined as working with and through others to achieve objectives; the emphasis is on 'others,' not solo performance. Anyone can be a leader, but effective leaders are born and can still become more effective through deliberate practice and feedback. Self-limiting identity statements like 'I can't listen' reduce the chance of change and make even real improvement feel inauthentic. Behavior change becomes visible to others only when leaders consistently follow up; otherwise improvement looks random and perceptions do not shift. Winning small arguments, correcting people, or adding value constantly often hurts commitment, relationships, and influence more than it helps. People should stop equating success with self-worth because outcomes are unstable and achievement never produces lasting satisfaction. The best way to improve communication, recognition, and leadership is often to ask the other person what would help, rather than imposing generic advice. Effective leaders need to recognize that the decision belongs to the person with power; if they cannot sell or change the outcome, they should let it go. A daily accountability scorecard can reveal the gap between what people say they value and what they actually do. Great lives come from alignment between higher aspirations, ambitions, and daily activities, plus preserving relationships, health, and purpose.

Data Points: Average number of feedback providers per coached leader: 18 people - Goldsmith says the average leader he coaches receives confidential feedback from 18 colleagues, board members, peers, or direct reports. Leadership research sample size: 86,000 people - He cites a research study on leadership context and follow-up involving 86,000 people from around the world. Client recognition improvement: 6th percentile to 94th percentile - A client improved his recognition behavior dramatically in one year by using a simple weekly recognition routine. Stock price increase under Alan Mulally at Ford: $1.01 to $18.40 - Goldsmith cites Alan Mulally’s leadership at Ford as an example of strong leadership outcomes. Ford stock appreciation: 1,837% - Used to illustrate the results of Mulally’s leadership. Employee approval rating: 97% - Goldsmith attributes this approval rating to Alan Mulally in a union company context. Book count: 49 books - He says The Earned Life is his 49th book. Majority of day presence score: 30% - Goldsmith estimates his own daily presence/engagement at about 30%. Average self-rating on happiness: 5.5/10 - He says many people rate their daily happiness around 5.5 on a 10-point scale. Time horizon for behavioral follow-up: Every 2 months over 12 months - He recommends asking for feedback repeatedly at two-month intervals to make change visible and sustained. Change task completion rate: 7 of 14 days - A highly accomplished client only completed the daily self-tracking exercise for seven of the fourteen days committed. Daily habit intervention time: 3 minutes per day - Goldsmith describes a simple, low-cost daily tracking tool that he says can improve almost anything. Cost for violating the no-no-no rule: $20 per offense - Clients pay a $20 charitable penalty each time they start a sentence with 'no,' 'but,' or 'however'. Children's media exposure: 55 hours per week - He says the average American child flunking out of school spends 55 hours a week on non-academic media. COVID support group time: 400 hours - Goldsmith says he spent 400 hours during COVID running group conversations with high achievers. Hedge fund manager performance: 51-52% gains vs. 48-49% losses - He cites a hedge fund manager describing his near-even record and how caring too much reduced his effectiveness. Medical success example: Billion(s) of lives saved - He jokes that Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla helped save 'a billion or so lives' through vaccine development.

Pivotal Quotes: "Leadership is working with and through others to achieve objectives." — Marshall Goldsmith: His opening definition of leadership. "Our mission in life is to make a positive difference, not to prove we're smart and not to prove we're right." — Marshall Goldsmith: A central principle he says should govern leadership and conflict. "You sell what you can sell, you change what you can change, and if you cannot sell it and you cannot change it, let it go." — Marshall Goldsmith: His advice on influence, decision-making, and accepting limits.

Implications: The episode reframes leadership as disciplined service: listen more, argue less, track behavior, and measure success by impact on others. For organizations, it suggests humility and follow-up outperform charisma or technical brilliance.

From the Episode

I want to start with something simple and then we can build up from there. So let's start with what is leadership. Leadership, number one, I never like to get into semantic debates. So when I give you a definition, just look at it as my definition, not the right definition. Paul Hersey, my old mentor, taught me that. He said, there are many definitions of words, so don't get into semantic arguments. Just define what you mean and just leave it at that. So for me, I like his definition. Leadership is working with and through others. To achieve objectives. And the key word in the definition is others, as opposed to doing it by yourself. Can anyone be a leader? Oh, yeah, anyone can be a leader, assuming they have basic qualities to get along in life. Yeah. I mean, I'm often asked a question: are leaders made or born? A common question. And I can answer one thing definitively. Are you ready? 100% of every leader I've ever met, and I've met many, have been born.

Marshall Goldsmith · at 2:33

You're going to have a happier life. You're going to deal with differences better. And you're going to be better at influencing the world. Are you ready for this great learning point from Peter Drucker? Are we ready? Number one, our mission in life is to make a positive difference, not to prove we're smart and not to prove we're right. We are not here on earth to prove how smart we are. We are not here on earth to prove how right we are. We are here to make a positive difference in life. If we do not make a positive difference, it is absolutely irrelevant how smart or right we are. Number two. Every decision in life is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that. Not the smartest person, the best person, a fair person, a logical person, a wonderful person, a rational person, or even a sane person.

Marshall Goldsmith · at 1:04:55

You change what you can change. If you can sell it, you sell it. If you can change it, you change it. If you cannot sell it and you cannot change it, ah, let it go, let it go. And if you don't like it, leave. But as long as you're cashing that check at the end of the month, You sell what you can sell, you change what you can change, and you make peace. By the way, I have repeated this thousands of times to people with MBAs from Harvard, CEOs of multi-billion dollar companies. I have just repeated this lesson over and over. So few of us ever get this deeply. One guy, I'm going to see him tonight, in fact. My buddy Fred is here in Nashville tonight. He's visiting. Fred is a great success story. So, Fred's an old friend of mine. Fred was CEO of a company. He was owned by a company called KKR.

Marshall Goldsmith · at 1:06:14
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