10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Happier with Dan Harris

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The meditation style that changed Dan's entire practice. Alexis Santos, has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of a highly influential Burmese mo

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Dan Harris GuestAlexis Santos Guest

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Episode Summary

Executive Summary: Dan Harris interviews meditation teacher Alexis Santos about a relaxed, natural approach to practice inspired by Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya. The conversation contrasts effortful, breath-centered meditation with an awareness-based method that emphasizes checking the mind’s attitude, noticing awareness, and building momentum through light, repeated reminders in daily life.

Main Topics: Sayadaw U Tejaniya’s background and teaching style (Priority: 5/5): Alexis explains how he came to study with U Tejaniya, a Burmese monk focused on teaching meditation in a practical, accessible way centered on natural awareness rather than strain. From efforting to relaxed awareness (Priority: 5/5): The interview contrasts conventional, concentrated meditation on a single object (like the breath) with a broader practice that includes body, thoughts, emotions, and the attitude of mind. The central questions: “What is the attitude?” and “Are you aware?” (Priority: 5/5): Alexis describes the core instructions as checking the mind’s attitude and periodically asking whether awareness is present, which helps reveal wanting, aversion, and subtle tension. Momentum and continuity in practice (Priority: 4/5): Repeated light reminders are framed as building momentum, like tapping a swing or turning on a light switch, so awareness becomes more continuous and less effortful over time. Daily-life practice beyond retreat (Priority: 4/5): Both speakers stress that this method is scalable and not limited to formal retreats; it can be applied while working, parenting, talking, commuting, or handling stress. Wisdom, right view, and seeing experience as process (Priority: 5/5): The discussion links meditation to wisdom: recognizing experiences as changing, impersonal processes rather than fixed self-expressions, which reduces grasping and suffering. U Tejaniya as a model of acceptance and non-striving (Priority: 4/5): Alexis shares that U Tejaniya’s quirky, natural presence and emphasis on letting conditions be as they are created a sense of permission to be exactly as one is while still practicing.

Key Arguments: Trying too hard in meditation often increases suffering and blocks insight; a lighter touch is more effective. Awareness itself is not hard; the difficulty is remembering to notice it amid daily absorption. The quality of mind matters more than the meditation object; how we relate to experience shapes the result. Periodic self-checks—“What’s the attitude?” and “Are you aware?”—reveal wanting, aversion, and other habits driving stress. Any experience can be used for practice, not just calm sitting on a cushion; even discomfort, fear, or busyness can become objects of awareness. Formal retreat is helpful, but the method is designed to translate into ordinary life through repeated, gentle reminders. Wisdom grows by seeing experience as cause-and-effect processes rather than “me” or “mine,” which loosens clinging and reactivity. Continuity, not intensity, is the key: light, repeated awareness builds momentum and eventually becomes more stable.

Data Points: Years of Alexis Santos’s meditation practice: 20 years - Dan introduces Alexis as having practiced meditation for two decades. Year Alexis started studying with Sayadaw U Tejaniya: 2003 - Alexis says he began studying with U Tejaniya in 2003. Course length mentioned for 10% Happier app challenge: 7 days - Dan promotes an on-the-go course running as a seven-day challenge. Challenge start date: November 13th - Dan says the course challenge starts on November 13th. Private retreat period referenced: During the pandemic - Dan describes a private retreat in Maine that took place during the pandemic. Frequency of live events in the new app: Every week - Dan says they do weekly live-stream events guiding meditations and taking questions. Free trial duration for the new app: 2 weeks - Dan says listeners can try the app free for two weeks.

Pivotal Quotes: "If you try too hard, if you overeffort, if you try to make something happen, it's pretty much guaranteed not to happen." — Dan Harris: Opening framing of the episode, setting up the contrast between striving and relaxed practice. "The mind that's working is more important than the thing that we're looking at." — Alexis Santos: Alexis explains why attitude and awareness matter more than narrowly fixing attention on an object. "You can be just as you are and be aware." — Alexis Santos: Alexis summarizes the core liberating message of U Tejaniya’s approach.

Implications: Listeners are encouraged to treat meditation as a skill for daily life, not a performance. The approach may reduce self-judgment, increase consistency, and make practice more accessible whether or not one attends retreats.

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